C'est ma vie

Sold (well, almost)

Beautiful Staircase, originally uploaded by afoos.

It kept going through our minds yesterday evening, the possibility of losing the house, while we kept going through more ads trying to console ourselves saying "there's something else out there for us, if they don't want our price, then we'll just find something else." But, deep down we knew that we wouldn't find anything else that completely fit the bill, and we knew that the price they were asking was a decent price. We kept going through those ads, nothing came up, no other houses to look at except the two others that were much smaller. Etienne's male pride completely discouraged him from giving into the price they wanted us to pay- he wanted a negotiation, not for us to go up to their price! Then, my MIL called around 8:30 last night and told us that 10,000 euros isn't much, but a lifetime of regret is. She felt, as we did, that this was the house for us, perfect for our family, and a perfect investment for our future, especially emotionally. I think if we lost the house, we would be thinking about it for the rest of our lives.

With a little pushing, we were convinced to call the niece and just give in to their price, which, honestly, was very reasonable (we were being unreasonable by trying to negotiate, but it doesn't hurt to try!) We were also able to negotiate some more land behind the house, which gives us a bigger back yard and some real fruit trees. This morning we got their call saying they accept, and next Saturday we will sign the official offer and give a down payment of 10 percent. We will have 2-4 months to get our financing together and after that, we'll be ready to move in.

The whole morning E was a little upset that we didn't really negotiate and that we completely gave in (by the way NEVER call us if you need to negotiate anything, we suck). Then, he looked on the official floor plan of the house and changed his mind. All along he had thought that the whole house was 1500 sq. feet total, but it's 1500 sq. feet on each floor plus an attic that we could eventually make into a room. When he saw that, he immediately felt like we had made the right choice.

Big changes for us in the future. As E says, I don't know if we'll ever really feel that Paris is our 'home" again. We definitely have no plans as of now of giving up our apartment, but who knows, if we love the house so much, it wouldn't be impossible for us to live there and either commute or be transferred to the nearest city (about a 30 min. drive away). But, all I know is we are going to have a house soon, a big house perfect for our family with lots of space and lots of air and lots of room for all of us to grow.

Low Balling

E and I are awful negotiators, especially, especially, since we have officially fallen in love with the house we have affectionately given the name "the farm". But, still, we had decided to low ball our offer on the house. We thought the cards were all there: an old woman in her early 80s just wanting to get of the thing, her brother who was tired of driving an hour and a half to deal with the matter (even though we were the first ones in the 4 months it has been on the market to make an offer, he still had to manage the whole thing), their low esteem of the house= we thought that we had a card to play, so we risked it. After all, they could negotiate, right? That's what the negotiation is all about. Then, they showed up with their very firm, very stubborn, very salesperson like niece who works in the real estate industry, and we knew it would be a hard bargain.

The house is listed as 127,000 through an agency. But, it's really at 120,000 given that we were dealing personally with the owner and not getting the agency involved in order to not pay the 7,000 in agency fees. It is a well-known fact that house prices are negotiated. Of course, we didn't think we'd get it for as low as we had bargained for, but we did expect them to rebound with a counter offer. 

Now, in our part of the negotiations, we asked for a small (and I mean, very small) part of the orchard to extend our back yard. The price for that part of land is 600, worth very little, so not really adding much value to the house. We were willing to pay 5,000 for it, for a total of 100,000. Of course, we were still low balling it, but left them to discuss anyway. 

When we came back in after about 15 min., they said "Our price is 120,000 with the little part of the orchard in the back, we're giving you that as a gift and of course giving you the agency fees as a gift because we're not going through the agency." What?In other words, they wouldn't come down one bit on their price. It was then that E said 105,000 and we expected them to offer 115,000 and we leave it at 110,000. Nope. They wouldn't budge. 

Of course, it doesn't help that some people pulled up at the same time to look at the house, an ironic coincidence after months of no one visiting. (We did have a slight thought that it might be a set up, but then nixed the idea). After hearing our 'low' offer, the stubborn niece ran out to them as they drove off and told them they could come by an hour later to look at the house.

E and I left very disappointed. Our maximum is 110,000. After a short discussion, we decided to call them back since they were all together and could discuss the affair over lunch and offer them 110,000. Our thought was that they would be interested in closing the affair today, especially since they had come a way to deal with the house. Nope. The niece said that the people who came to look after us were also interested and would be making an offer in the next couple of weeks.

Needless to say, we are a little depressed. We thought they would at least meet us at 115,000, but no. And, although we could probably find a way to pay what they are asking, we have mixed feelings 1/ Either we are paying too much and regret giving in or regret not giving in. There aren't too many houses on the market right now with our 'criteria' and it's true I already had planned my sewing room in my mind and saw our family there. But, that's what gets you trapped in a negotiation- you like something so much you aren't willing to lose it and then you end up paying full price.

I think we need to be willing to lose it a little more, but we are taking a risk and are a little sad. We say there will be others, but we liked this one and had it in our minds that we were going to walk away today with a house.

Excitement/Burden= Life

I guess it is a good sign that everyone who sees the house, even if it's just in pictures, feels that it's a great move for us. E's mom was so enthusiastic about the house and how it would be great for the kids to have a 'homebase' that she has been calling everyday pushing us to make an offer. We wanted to go ahead, but I guess we were just afraid to start negotiations because we're both quite shy. Well, we bit the bullet and this Saturday, we have an appointment with the owner and will start negotiating.

I am very excited about the possibilities. Deep down, I've always wanted an old farm house to work on over the years, to plant a vegetable garden, etc... At the same time, it's a little scary signing away 15 years of our lives. We did our budget yesterday, and it will be tight, very tight, very, very tight, but we can do it. On the other hand, it is definitely a good move for us and for the kids and the way we look at it is, the money we pay on the loan each month we're putting into 'savings' and by the time the kids start school, the loan will be paid off.

E and I have also resolved to try pick up a few extra hours of teaching. We may not earn much, but the good thing is, in the teaching profession, you can pick up some other 'jobs' or extra hours. I also had a serious talk with E about changing our mindset. All along, he thought we had been frugal, but I told him we may think we are, but it's not in our mindset. As a result, random trips to the Gap, buying things here and there, computers, etc...  It needs to be engraved in our minds that we don't spend money at all, that we find creative ways to save, that we accept other people's trash as our treasures.

Of course, if I seriously studied for the Phd exams and passed them, it would greatly help us out... a possibility at the back of my mind which seems impossible to realize at this point, but maybe the farm house is motivation...

The things they say

My mom got Gab a shirt on her trip to Jordan and Gab wore it tonight for his PJs. Since it's from near the dead sea, there's a fish skeleton on the shirt.

Gab said to me, "Momma, why's there a fish with only bones on my shirt?" And I replied to him that Uma got it on her trip to the Dead Sea. "What? Where's the Dead sea?" And I told him it's near the country Jordan. And Gab replied "Well, that Jordan isn't a nice guy, he threw the fish into the Dead Sea and now the fish is dead." 

As for Louise, she was dragging Alice around the apartment in her bouncy seat today. I asked her where she was going with Alice. She replied, as if I should have known, "But, mama, I'm taking her to work with me". So I asked Louise where she worked. "At the chocolate store, mama." 

 

Sometimes, those innocent little reflections are enough to make you forget about the rambunctiousness. 

Green Light

Well, we've gotten a green light from E's mom to make an offer on the house! She went a day early to take a look and LOVES it! And, trust me, this is a huge deal coming from her because if you know her, you know she criticizes everything.

She also went with a friend who knows a thing or two about real estate, and her friend said that it's a rare gem and that we should definitely go for it.

We keep saying we're going to look at more houses, but in our hearts, I think we know that this is the one.

My MIL's only 'worry' was that I would get bored. Does she not know that I would have enough space to make my own craft room and that while I craft and read, the kids could happily play outside? Not to mention that I have about 20 years of interior decorating on a budget that awaits me. That woman knows nothing about me, I swear.

Let's see what this week holds, but I'm feeling a lot of 'right' things in this house endeavor. Keep your fingers crossed!

Steady

Things are steady and stable around here, for now, which I count as a blessing. I have also been working on myself, to be less selfish, to give a little more of 'me', to avail myself more easily, to my husband and family, to let them into my bubble. Last night E proposed we watch the Davy Crockett series with Gab (and Louise), since Gab wants to be Davy Crockett for Halloween. My first reaction was to say 'no' and to go off and do some sewing because the movie really didn't interest me. But, then I said to myself that to be a family, we all have to work together to create unity, it doesn't happen on its own. And, I actually enjoyed the movie. We're planning on watching the second installment tonight. E has also made an effort to be more available. He still plays his game, more than I think he should, but he will also readily drop it to be with us (most of the time, the Spongebob expo at a small museum up the street was a little too much for him, so I didn't make him oblige!)

We are back on track for our house plan and more and more are feeling ready to have more space. As soon as you get something in your mind, even the slightest bit of an idea, your life seems totally changed and you start viewing things in a different light. When we came back to our apartment from another 2 week time away, all of the sudden it seemed like all our stuff was piled up and that our living space is about to burst. True, but I hadn't seen things with that perspective before. If we got some of this stuff out of here, it would be a much better living space for all of us.

We are unable to go look at any more houses right now, without a car, but E's mom is going to look at the only house we've seen, on Monday. We are thinking about offering a 'viager' to the old woman who owns the house. A viager is when you give a down payment of 30-40 percent of the house's worth and then pay the person a rent per month. When that person passes away, you become the owner of the house. It is advantageous for us because the rent we would pay the old woman would be the equivalent of a loan payment each month, and we wouldn't have to go through the hassle of getting a loan. She also doesn't live in the house, which is a positive because with some 'viagers' the person actually lives in the house. It's an old system that has existed for ages in France and this might be an occasion to use it.

I am a little nervous about E's mom going to see the house. Her opinion matters a lot to us and I do believe, in our minds, that we are fairly set on trying to work out how to buy the house, so if she finds something seriously wrong, we'll be disappointed. I know she'll be able to see past the nasty wallpaper and yard, though, and will only look for structural problems, which is really all we need to know before buying. Like I've underlined before, we don't have the finances to buy a brand new house with a perfect interior and plan on furnishing the house with furniture we already have (about half of our apartment will go!), stuff given to us, and flea market stuff. It's definitely going to be pieced together, old, rustic, and a constant work in progress, but that's us and our lifestyle. I've never been one to like new, I'm more of a lover of vintage and shabby chic, and I do believe that you can take hand me downs and make it something lovely.

Which reminds me, I know I've said it before, but I'm going to say it again and try it yet again, as soon as September rolls around, I am putting a cut on spending (meaning no more yarn, no more earrings from Etsy, no more fabric!). If we are going to buy a house, this will be a good exercise in discipline because once we buy a house, the money situation will be a tight one for years to come (on the other hand, buying a house is like putting money in savings, a forced savings, and that's something we really need to do). I did try one year to really save, to use what we already had at home to make gifts, to get free food, via E's mom's garden, for example. I am convinced we spend too much in groceries and that we could cut that bill by a third or a fourth, and I am also convinced that we have enough. Period. 

But, for now, to ring in the school year right, I am doing a little maintenance on myself: facial, eyebrow wax, haircut (thanks to the sun, I didn't have to get highlights this time!). And, I'm making myself a new dress for the first day of school. I have yet to find out where that first day will be, but at least I'll be ready!

Slow and steady.

It's the meals

I've been on a sort of meal hiatus for a couple months now. Not that I don't make meals, but I definitely don't do it with much vigor. Perhaps it's the heat, perhaps it's because I'm running out of ideas, perhaps it's because "30 min. meals" really require 2 hours, or perhaps it's just because even 5 min. of prep bothers me these days. I like to cook, I really do, but I have reached a sort of dry spell, so to speak.

Then, something clicked inside my head the other day. I woke up, the kids were happily playing (for once), I proceeded to start a morning project in an attempt to be productive, the clock hit 11, then 11:30, then 12. I knew, both from the sounds of my increasingly cranky kids, as well as from my own inner alarm, that lunch needed to be prepared, but there was an internal battle within my mind: I wanted to finish my project but at the same time I had to stop everything to spend time preparing and then eating lunch. Then, it hit me: it's the meals. In my opinion, the one of the most difficult aspects of having children, besides the sleep factor of course, is the meals. There's no skipping a meal because you have other things to do and then grab a bowl of cereal in late afternoon (if you have time!). With kids, it's morning, noon (literally!) and night, with an afternoon snack in-between.

I don't care how much time a crockpot saves, how 'fast' a recipe is supposed to be, you still need to prepare the ingredients and think about what you have to make. And, let me tell you, my ideas are running about as dry as a desert and have been for a few months. I can plan menus as much as I want, try to be as organized as I can, but meal planning is and always will be a hassle in my book and a definite point of procrastination.

Which reminds me, it's 7:30, I better make that dinner, (what we're having is still yet unknown to me.)

Just so Louise like

Just so Louise like, originally uploaded by afoos.

Need I say more?

Floating away

IMG_4262, originally uploaded by afoos.

The weird thing about France, as compared to the boiling hot Oklahoma or Texas summers, is that it gets hot, in the 90s, but you can survive without A/C. And, what's even weirder, or maybe I'm weird, is that you don't have that feeling when you jump in the pool of "Oh, this feels great, but the water is barely cold enough to cool me off, I need to stay in here to keep me cool". Instead, you jump in the pool and it's fairly chilly for what I'm used to, even though it is hot outside. I'll even catch myself swimming and get cold.

So, I hesitated to put Alice in the pool, but she loved it. We got her this little floatie and she just floated around. Then, the runny nose came and she's been off pool limits for the past couple days. We'll see how she is tomorrow.

Bathing beauty

Bathing beauty, originally uploaded by afoos.

I love this sweet pic of Alice. Her swimsuit is in the suitcase in the back of our car in Scotland, so I found this one for 2 euros on clearance the other day and she'll be able to wear it next summer too. Isn't it cute on her?

As for the car, we got bad news tonight. The insurance adjustor wants to total it!!!! It's only 5 years old, runs perfectly fine, and the repair is only going to cost 200. However, he is thinking along the lines that the motor is shot, which would cost apparently 8000 to repair. He says our car is only worth 7000. Well, we've got news for him, the blue book value is between 11,000 and 12,000. We sense this is going to be a long fight, and I don't know when I'll see that precious knitting yarn again. sniff, sniff.

As for good news, E watched Star Wars with us tonight! And, to top it off, talked about our house project again. He's back playing his game now, but he's in a better mood it seems and did willingly spend time with us tonight. I'm going with it.