Okay, fine, I'm lazy...

I have this tiny little teensy little minor problem. See, well, okay since I must admit this to the whole blogging world, I'm lazy. But, not really. I have the energy to prepare, teach and keep my class under control as well as attend classes so that I'm rarely ever at home and I have the energy to do that on top of changing poopy diapers and washing the poopy diapers because my psychotic mind has to add more work to my life by choosing to wash our diapers plus cook a 5 course (okay 1 course) meal every night, take and switch metros to go an hour across town at the crack of dawn twice a week (that will be ending soon) to teach HS students, do 10 loads of laundry a week plus pay the overdue taxes from 2004 as well as the other loads of mail we've been neglecting for months on end, oh and then a child gets sick so I need to run to the doctor and then the pharmacy oh, and then I find out I left my book up at work and need to run back up there oh and then I might as well stay at work when I get there because there are parent-teacher conferences that night and so then I come home to another poopy diaper and 5 course meal as well as a battlefield of toys that might as well be grenades because every time I walk, that stupid plastic telephone "Un appel pour toi" and the annoying music goes off. But, I'm lazy, as I said.

I'm lazy because outside of the crazy weekly scene as described above, when I do find 5 seconds alone, well, my butt is on the couch, literally, and I don't want to get up. I don't want to think about plans for projects like finishing "moving" into our apartment, a project that we promptly abandoned a couple months after Louise was born when we realized that the kids had taken over any type of housewarming project (or party for that matter). This is why, for a year and a half, we have had no curtains. Yep, you heard it folks, no curtains. I am the last person on the earth to be detail oriented and planning curtains seemed like too much detail for my couch ridden butt to handle- especially when all it wanted to do was sit the whole weekend rather than do another project- don't we have enough of those during the week?

For years I've been hearing E complaining to the MIL "Nothing ever gets done around here, I have to do everything." To give him the benefit of the doubt (E, are you reading this, brace yourself and take a seat for this one), he is right. As far as long term projects, nothing much ever does get done on my part. And, this includes the organization of trips, picking up the phone for a long overdue phone call, responding to emails, going to the post office, and anything else that isn't part of my immediate, poopy diaper changing, teaching rowdy 6th graders routine. When I am about to jump off a cliff (don't worry I don't literally mean that) because of all the pressure from this student teaching year and then have the stress of our daily routine with two tiny children to add to that, the last thing in the world I want to do is spend time doing some of those long term projects (that's why there are still unmailed Xmas gifts from 2004 sitting in our living room corner). In fact, what I'd really like is to jump on a plane and head to a very warm, beachy destination, sip a margarita and bask in the sun while reading a New Yorker and knitting. But, that not being possible at this time, I finally had to face my laziness today as I reluctantly pulled out the curtains from the moving boxes and started to mentally prepare myself for the project, which was something that was completely and totally against my plans and what I wanted to do, but after I've heard E talking about, for a year, that we haven't had curtains, I decided I should move my butt off of its assumed position.

Then, my laziness was challenged. It just so happened that the curtains from our old apartment don't fit and we need much bigger curtains. And, even before I could say the word "Ikea", Etienne was saying "You know, my uncle is almost done repairing your sewing machine (that I broke last year during our move, okay he didn't say that), this could be your first sewing project, to make curtains." Uh huh. See, that's another thing. I love to sew, as long as it's a project that I've decided on- simple dresses, placemats, tablerunners. But, since I'm not a detail oriented person, my sewing is kind of erratic, and I kind of skip steps (don't tell Martha) so that I get to the finished result faster (albeit in a less neat fashion) So, when E volunteered my services to make curtains during the second week of the school vacation when I am supposed to be working on the stuff that infiltrates my life on a daily basis but that I don't have time to deal with, namely school stuff that I should be working on but can't I stupidly replied "Sure." Why? Because I'm an idiot. Okay, really, probably just to prove to him somehow that I wasn't as lazy as he thought and that I could, indeed, make curtains (okay, Martha, I am really going to need your help!) AND finish a long term project.

Then, about 5 minutes after said conversation, MIL is on the phone and as E is talking with her, an e-mail arrives in my inbox, an important email from the person who came to evaluate me in December, sharing with me his observations about how, even though my class was under control when he came that day, he felt that the kids' behavior was a bomb ready to go off so as I am reading this line, E is conversing with his mother about all the detail of what curtain making entails and apparently, it is way more complicated than my Curtains for Dummies book implies. So, as I am reading this line, not paying the least bit attention to How to Make Curtains 101 (or, the conversation with DH and MIL), E, is again, not convinced about my genuine motivation to carry out and finish this project and I hear him say "See, there she goes again, she's on the couch reading her e-mail instead of listening to me about the curtains, she should be on the phone with you, not me."

What can I say, folks, I am lazy. Thanks for going to the end of this post. Oh, and a little disclaimer: my class is kind of a bomb ready to go off but hey, I can keep it under control most of the time. Oh and second disclaimer: does anyone have Martha's cell? I am REALLY going to need her help to prove that I am not lazy.

Comments

[Betty C.]

When we lived in our first house, I actually made curtains using some long-repressed knowledge of 8th-grade sewing class.

Now, 18 years later, most of the house doesn't have curtains. If it ever does, we will buy them. And my husband will have to but them up. I think we may go without curtains for a long time as neither of us are very good at that type of middle-term project.

How important are curtains in the scheme of things anyway? I would say not very.

[tara]

You mean there are people that actually make curtains?
I don't even hem my own pants. I'm lazy too, more lazy than you, mostly because I don't have kids but I figure it's better to be lazy and keep your sanity.

[Stefanie]

I'm hoping you wrote this post with some sort of irony because I certainly wouldn't call you lazy! Think of all the different projects you've accomplished for your home in the last year - the platform bed, stairs, Louise's kitchen etc. Sounds like you get more done than most people, Andie! Could you treat yourself to new curtains? Places like Bouchara and Saint Maclou will do curtains or even a local seamstress...sometimes you have to spend a little to preserve your sanity!

[Stefanie]

I'm hoping you wrote this post with some sort of irony because I certainly wouldn't call you lazy! Think of all the different projects you've accomplished for your home in the last year - the platform bed, stairs, Louise's kitchen etc. Sounds like you get more done than most people, Andie! Could you treat yourself to new curtains? Places like Bouchara and Saint Maclou will do curtains or even a local seamstress...sometimes you have to spend a little to preserve your sanity!

[andie]

I actually didn't intend the post to be ironic because it's true that I get lots of things done, but it's always the things I'm motivated to do. The platform bed still has some places that need paint and I'm now too lazy to do it. Just today E wanted to plan our summer trip to the US but again, I just didn't want to. I am continually going against my inner laziness to get things done but if I didn't work and stayed at home all the time, nothing would ever get done because I'd probably be on the couch doing nothing!

[anon]

any mother with two infants and a fulltime job is not lazy. sounds like your husband needs a serious talking to about the damage he does you by such relentless and undeserved criticism -- and to others, outside the relationship.
that's not ok.

[Alice]

Oh my golly, this comment is very, very belated because I haven't been reading as much blogs as I'd like to lately, but I just wanted to say that you can't POSSIBLY be lazy!!! Then what would *I* be?! I HATE the housecleaning and put it off to the last possible second, and sometimes the bathroom and kitchen are shameworthy. I'm always thinking to myself that my home will NEVER be as clean as my mom's -- I think she put pressure on me in that department that will last the rest of my life!

And I don't even have kids yet, so I can't even imagine... I'm pregnant and currently use THAT as my excuse for my laziness! But seriously, Andie, you do SO MUCH! And, I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but we've been living in our apartment for 2 1/2 years now, and we STILL DON'T HAVE CURTAINS UP. I don't think it's a big deal for either one of us, although I know it would make our place feel homier... I've just been putting it off because I don't even know where or how to begin the project. So you're not alone!