C'est ma vie

Onto other things...

Thanks for all of your comments on my last post. I used to shy away from debate, thinking that it meant you were automatically attacking the person you were debating with and vice versa, but there's a big difference between disliking someone's ideas and disliking the person and I have now come to the realization (after learning the hard way by losing some friendships this past year over this) that debating, especially on a blog, is an open dialogue for the world to see and dialogue leads to progression and helps people to think and thinking is what we need more of, whether it be conservative, moderate, or liberal. Healthcare and having a Democrat as our next US President are two things I feel strongly about but to a conservative Republican, my ideas seem just as far-fetched and ridiculous. But having a dialogue not only helps you to strengthen your own thoughts but also in a forum like a blog, it could bring thoughts to others and I appreciate all of your input. I always tell my students it's one thing to learn English but it's another thing to practice it. They need to speak, to express themselves in order to enhance their understanding of the language. I think that can apply to everything in life and communication is crucial. I really appreciate your support in my ideas. The beauty of the world is that everyone thinks differently. Some think only within the box, some are able to barely escape those boundaries and just cross the border, and some go so far away from the box they create another box of ideas. I think the most important thing is to not take anything to an extreme. Communism and Fascism don't work. It's been proven by history. Somewhere a middle, unselfish, ground needs to be found so that we are no longer just living for ourselves but also for the better of our society.

Next post: my normal daily Parisian life. But, right now, I am going to go finish that article in the New Yorker about Americans working as medical guinea pigs to make some extra money- oh, the irony!

More on universal health

Anyway, I will just go off on my soapbox once again. Sorry, Tony, I know we have completely opposite views (which is probably why you live in Texas and I ended up in France!), but your post really caused me to react but I love you anyway!

I keep asking myself this question: why in the world should you have to work to have the right to decent (and I say decent because try going to a free clinic in the poorest parts of any big city and I don't think a majority of the readers who have access to my blog would classify the care as decent) healthcare? Whether you work or not, everyone should be granted free and DECENT healthcare. I have never, in 7 years, had to even question where I go to get medical help- anywhere you go here, whether it be the doctor across the street or on the other side of town, the hospital in our neighborhood or a hospital in the S. of France, everywhere has the exact same quality of care and I'm covered, there's no hospital trying to make more money, or a hospital that got a huge donation from a huge oil company etc.

One summer, E and I were home in the US and I got a really bad and painful ear infection. I went to see my parents' general practitioner and he responded "Well, since you don't have insurance in this country, I'm going to have to make you pay more but I'll chip in the 200 dollar prescription and give you some samples instead". Guess how much I paid for one, 15 min. visit? 125 dollars for him to look in my ear and tell me I had a sinus and ear infection and needed antibiotics. Am I the only one here thinking this is a little ridiculous (as well as paying 200 dollars for a prescription?) And, I do believe this amount of money was the subject of the first fight between E and I, his argument being I should have never gone to the doctor and just stuck it out. Well, if we, a semi middle-class couple, are contemplating paying that much for our health, I can't imagine the thousands like us in the US who ask themselves everyday if they risk their health because it costs too much, because they aren't among the privileged whose jobs provide healthcare. When did healthcare become a business?

We pay a lot of taxes here in France, sure, but even what we have now, we don't need. In theory, all we "need" is food and shelter and good health. Why do we "need" the money we're giving the government? Why do we "need" more money in our pockets? To buy fancy cars? To go on expensive vacations? To live in a brand new house? To stay in expensive hotels? To go out to eat every night? Or, to have the simple choice of whether you want to use that extra money on your health or on a brand new car, because to some people, that's what it comes down to, it's a choice. And, unfortunately our Western society puts enough pressure on the individual to value the car over your health. Isn't it ironic in the end that it's all about the money, no matter how you look at it?

Health shouldn't be all about money. In fact, we have so many worries, our existence and how we survive shouldn't be one of them!

I love America and I love the United States and as an American citizen, this is what I want to see changed more than anything in my country. The US is ranked 37th in the world for its healthcare system and I happen to live in and also be a citizen of a country whose healthcare system is ranked number one in the world. Why shouldn't the US be up there, they're powerful enough to spend years in Iraq but not powerful enough to have the number one healthcare system in the world? When I bring my children home to their country, I want to know that we will be taken care of, that if Gab falls and breaks his leg, we won't have to ask our own health insurance in France to bring us back to France for care (which they will do for free) just because we aren't among the privileged few. Not only is this bad for the environment with the fossil fuels it entails to make an extra trip back home for healthcare but there's no reason why a country of which you are a citizen shouldn't take care of you.

But, those are my beliefs and perhaps if I lived in the US right now I would be thinking differently. I do, after all, live over here where universal healthcare has been around for awhile and where the society completely accepts it. Maybe it wouldn't work in the US? Then again, if I were a single mother whose husband left her raising two tiny children working three jobs that don't provide healthcare and having to choose each month between rent, food and healthcare for my children, I'd sure want the leader of my country to give it a try.

References and other stuff

Here are a few references to things I've recently talked about:

Homemade Reese's PB cups: The only I changed was the chocolate (I only had Fair Trade dark cooking chocolate) and the peanut butter (I used normal Skippy creamy) but the rest was exactly like the recipe. Oh, and after they chilled completely, I put them in a Tupperware and just kept them at room temp- much better a little softer, if not the chocolate hardens too much in the fridge.

Tea tree oil (and any other essential oil): I used to go to Naturalia when I actually had time to go shopping (but this is a good thing that my free time is limited!= less temptation) but now any type of essential oil I get off of ebay. They seem more reasonable in price and you always find what you are looking for. Even a small flask lasts ages and I use it for the cloth diapers, for the cloth wipes and for cleaning.

Borax: I haven't yet found a source for this in France but I haven't really looked yet either!

Bath gel: On a soap making whim a couple years ago, I bought some fragrance oils but never opened them. Then this year, I had the idea to make bath gel instead of buying some to go with the knitted washclothes I was making for family members for Xmas. I am thinking that the recipients have probably poured the bath gel down the drain by now because it doesn't resemble in the least Bath and Body works bath gel and it does look handmade but on a daily basis, it does the job for us. One thing I haven't yet found in France is a good 'unscented' shampoo that literally has no scent and that might be one of the reasons that my own fragrance oils don't smell as strong when mixed with the other stuff. Essential oils work great too, by the way. I am going to work on finding another alternative as a base and I think from now on this will only be given as a gift to those I know appreciate handmade 100 percent because I cannot compete with Bath and Body or the French culture of non-crafting (I have vowed never to make a handmade for my family in-law, that's another post in itself)

Anyway, hope those references help! I also wanted to add that to reuse and save money, I do a lot of street sales (brocantes) and ebay to buy the kids' clothes. Louise has I don't know how many top brands that you would pay hundreds for that I got for a matter of dollars because the CEOs on the W. side of Paris don't want them anymore. And, I am very picky about how the kids dress, so you can still be picky and buy cheap. Or, sometimes my SIL gives me something I wouldn't normally choose but they're clothes and they're free, so I usually change the outfit a little by putting a different shirt of a different pair of pants. The dress Louise is going to wear to two weddings this summer isn't probably something I would go out and buy for her had I the choice, but I found it in mint condition for 5 dollars (the little girl had only worn it once), so you just can't argue with that.

We are not an example of natural and cheap living. In fact, we are far from it and I so wish we could follow her examplee. E and I are both teachers living in Paris- not good combinations! We've been saying for a year now that we were going to do something drastic to cut our spending and here we are again, saying the same thing. It's getting a little better and we've taken baby steps but to stop spending it demands the same motivation and reflection someone on a diet needs when they grab that next Krispy Kreme without thinking. It asks for us to stop before reaching for the pocket book and ask ourselves why we are buying and do we really need that. Most people in our society don't think, they just buy and buy and buy. I am guilty of it. You are guilty of it. We all are. E and I are really hoping, little by little, this year to change our mentality a little more than we did from last year, and to really stop and think about our next purchase and to decide if it's really necessary or can we make do with the wealth of stuff we already have? Hopefully, this will lead more natural and cheaper living.

Little worlds

I remember my HS psychology teacher saying "Most of your friends in life will be determinded by their proximity to you. We tend to choose our friends according to their emotional availability to us and one of these factors is distance."

I don't know why his analysis stuck out in my mind but at the time, I thought it was a bunch of BS. In part, it was and I still remain in contact with some of my closest friends from HS (thanks internet and blogs!) but that doesn't prove that his point was wrong. Now that I'm 30, I've been able to look back upon some of the things I couldn't see from a distance 10 years ago, when I was first starting to understand the intricacies of friendship and relationships in adulthood.

One of my main preoccupations when I'm dozing off in the car on a trip or at night or when taking a jog is time passed. It seems that our world, our existence that we call it today, is an amalagam of our world that we've created at present and the little worlds that we've created in the past but nothing is constant and now will change to became then faster than I would like to get used to. We just start getting used to one of these little worlds and then all of the sudden something happens, someone moves, someone is added and your little world is no longer what it used to be and you move onto or into another one.

The best example I can give of my definition of little world is Sex in the City. I always admired how those women (fictional albeit) had their little Manhattan world full of going out, meeting up and attending various functions. A modern day Edith Wharton world. Maybe I felt a sort of attachement to this series because once, nearly 10 years ago, I was living my own sort of Sex in the City life (SORT OF is the key word here) in my own way in Norman. I had a group of friends and between teaching and taking classes I was always busy with something- either training for a race with my then best friend, grabbing a drink at happy hour, going to the only Indian Restaurant in Norman, attending a conference given by a professor, taking a hike in the Wichitas- always something literally every night. I left this little world the day I packed up my purple Honda Civic with literally every belonging I owned to drive to Houston where I would stay just a couple weeks before heading to France. The other day I smiled to myself because I remember, shortly after arriving in France, I missed this little world so much at the time, I went out and bought a dozen postcards that first week, sat on a café sidewalk somewhere between les Invalides and the slew of Embassies in the 7th and wrote about my experiences to a dozen people who, I realized over time, could not have cared less about receiving a postcard from me. To them, I had left their little world, I was gone and no longer in proximity and a postcard was just a silly whim sent by a silly 20 something to be either hung on the fridge for a month then thrown away or filed with the "postcards" file never to be thought about again and probably thrown away in the future. They didn't see that the very act of writing was me thinking I was still included in their world. I believe I tried for about a year after that to stay in that little world I had left probably too soon but then, slowly, I came to the reality that I had left and was creating a new little world in France.

The whole of my 20s was basically spent realizing the harsh reality of life: easy come, easy go. We create things, get used to them, then they leave, they fleet, they drift, and we can't stop their movement, like two of the same charges opposing each other. If Carrie hadn't come back to her little world during the last episode of Sex in the City, if she had continued living in Paris and then come back to visit her friends 5 years later, her "little world" wouldn't have been any longer and it was up to her to create another little world in Paris.

Just over the past couple years, I've started to create my own little world here, but it hasn't been a downhill slide. Instead, it's been a roller coaster of trials and errors. I miss going out but I also miss staying in. I miss having friends but I also like being alone. I love taking the kids to the park but I miss going out to eat and somewhere in all of that, it's been difficult to decipher what I really call my own little world. Along the road we've lost loved ones, we've lost friends, we've moved, we've changed jobs and maybe we just didn't stay in one little world long enough. But, one thing is constant that I wake up to and that I go to sleep to every night: my beautiful children and my husband and the Eiffel Tower I see out of my bedroom window. And, I guess for now, a little world like that you can't beat.

My (wo)man

My friend Jaime just put a post up about the upcoming Super Tuesday. Since I can't vote in the primaries, I hadn't given much thought about who I'd vote for. For me, if I could vote, the first thing I'd look at is the candidates who support universal healthcare. Living in France, this has come to be an important factor in our everyday life and it is seriously one of the considerations we have if we were to ever think about moving back to the US, even for a year. Our health, the most important thing we have, is not something we should have to put a monetary value on because we can or can't afford it. So, that basically gives me two candidates. I've always liked Hilary Clinton and thought her to be a strong and solid leader, but Obama does too and he seems to fit in with what I think. Then, I saw that he supported teacher's salary increases based on the performance of students and that ruled him out in my books. Maybe it's because I'm a teacher in France where performance is measured differently and where the whole student culture is completely different, but if that were the case here, I would never get a raise! I don't think you can predict how your students are going to perform, no matter how good of a teacher you are. There are social situations that you, as a teacher, can't and shouldn't be expected to change that prevent students from excelling academically.

So, I guess Hilary is my (wo)man.

Living (a little more) naturally and less expensively

I'm not a huge green advocate who is going to tie myself to trees but I do think we can each do our part, even if it's a little part, to stop the impact of global warming. And, I say that I'm not a huge green advocate because I am not ready to change our lifestyle completely to save the earth, but I am willing to try things that will fit comfortably into our lifestyle with little or no impact on us and maybe a little better impact on the earth. Also, I've just now come to realize that consumerism has a lot to do with what we use and how we use it. Next time you want to buy something at Target just because, think about what you could make at home. You'll get a lot more satisfaction and you won't spend a dime. It's also a great way to spend time with your family- get the kids involved and the spouse too. E loves anything that will save money and is very willing to help me do that. Anyway, thought I'd share what I've already done and what I plan on trying in 2008. Some of these I've shared before.

1/ Grocery bags- We have tons of our own bags that we take to stores with us
2/ Walking and taking public transportation- this is totally a coincidence this year because E and I happen to both be in Paris, the kids are within walking distance of our apartment, but our careers from now on should remain in Paris, so this means no more taking the car! The only time we take it is when we leave Paris, which we can go a month without doing!
3/Cloth diapers, wipes and my own wipe solution- we all know how I adore these!
4/ Tea tree oil- throw away that bleach and get yourself some tea tree oil! (if you need something to whiten, try a natural whitening salt) Tea tree oil is AWESOME! It kills just as many bacteria as bleach, it smells better, and it's natural.
5/ White vinegar and baking soda: my main staples for cleaning the house, no expensive commercial cleanser can beat how these two can clean- add some tea tree oil and you have a fabulous multi-purpose cleaner that's antibacterial
6/ Freezing food- usually when I make something, I try to make double and freeze the rest- this assures future meals. Today, I am going to make a chicken stock with a rotisserie chicken we ate off of for 2 meals (one just the chicken, the second a chicken walnut and cranberry salad and now stock)
7/ Yogurt making- we LOVE homemade yogurt and now even Gab is getting into it
8/ Homemade bath gel: I've just started making this and we love it

This year's goals
1/ Homemade toothpaste: personally, I don't really understand why we need all those commercially appealing brands in the grocery store- I think they are just to make money because most of the ingredients for toothpaste you already have at home and it's bundles cheaper.
2/ Homemade laundry soap if my current supply of soap runs out (I bought a ton of powder in bulk last year)
3/ Actually planting seeds in Feb/March instead of waiting until it's too late- last year we had a wonderful supply of basil, chives and red peppers that I froze at the end of the summer- maybe this year I'll plant some other staples? Any suggestions for a balcony garden?
4/ Not throwing anything away and really trying to use what we have in the fridge
5/ Knitting gifts with yarn I have instead of running out and buying something (and maybe, I'll get my sewing machine fixed so that I can start sewing too- E's uncle is working on that)

One of the things I would love to try is composting but the MIL says it's impossible to do in an apartment. Has anyone had experience with this?

Anyway, just some thoughts and some goals for 2008. Share with me how you are living more naturally!

Homemade Reese's PB Cups

Homemade Reeses PB Cups, originally uploaded by afoos.

One of the silly things I miss from the US is Reese's Peanut Butter cups. The other day I had the idea of making my own. It can't be that hard, right? Well, it wasn't!

I took a sneak sampling of one but they need to cool a little longer in the fridge. Super easy to make and they taste SO good. I have a feeling they won't last long!

The peanut butter filling tastes exactly like the real Reese's but since I used dark chocolate instead of Milk chocolate, the overall taste is a little different but they will definitely be an acceptable substitute to curb my Reese's craving! The whole process is super simple but you do need a good hour and a half of time between the different steps. I will definitely be making these again.

Purple Rice Eater

A couple nights ago, I made a lentil-sweet potato stew. It was good but kind of bland and as usual, Gab didn't eat much of it. We had enough left over to make another meal, so I added some bacon to give it some more flavor and made some purple rice (found on the fair trade aisle of the grocery store) so that we could eat the stew over it.

When Gab saw the purple rice, he said "What's his momma?" and I answered "It's like candy, you'll really like it" (I told myself I would never manipulate my kids like that, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do), he tried it with a spoonful of stew and said "Momma, this is really good" and finished his plate.

He slept until 7:30 this morning.

Purple rice for picky eaters- it does the trick!

Cookbook Challenge

I have a thing for cookbooks- I love them! Probably once every 3 or 4 months, because that's all we can afford, I will find a cookbook 'I've just got to have'. I've got anything from cupcake cookbooks to breakfast cookbooks, to pregnancy cookbooks, to Middle Eastern cooking cookbooks, to French cuisine (yes any of my HS friends who read this, I still treasure my first French cookbook that I got on that wonderful surprise 18th Bday party!) not to mention the thousands of recipes I've downloaded off the internet. I love recipes and everything sounds so good that I want to make it all! I used to be a super planner for meals: plan carefully each evening meal for a week (lunch has always been less formal and we just grab whatever) and what ingredients I needed and headed to the store once a week. But, since I got better at cooking, my instinct took over and I used fewer recipes and more just putting things together and then we always come back to a few recipes that I know the whole fam likes. Tonight, as I was looking through my newest cookbook The Desperate Housewives cookbook, I, again, wanted to make it all just like last week I wanted to make all of the cupcakes from my cupcake book! So, I've come up with sort of a challenge for myself this year.

Each week I choose one cookbook for my cooking and commit to making at least 3 things from that cookbook (at least because we can always make more but sometimes we don't have time to cook or we eat at our friends' or the MIL's etc or we just want to cook something less elaborate for dinner- 3 seems a reasonable number). It can be a dessert, a maindish, and a sidedish or 3 maindishes for 3 different meals. Or, for the cupcake book, it can be cupcakes 3 times in a week!!!! Anyway, I don't have 56 cookbooks and the year has already started so I will come back to cookbooks and use recipes I haven't already tried so that this will give me a way to test out everything and hopefully better my cooking. Oh, and I'm not allowed to used recipes I've already used from those cookbooks, they have to be all new (at least for the 3 new things I commit to cooking during the week). Anybody up for the challenge?

I am going to start a week from tomorrow because the groceries have already been bought for next week. Will try and blog about my new food adventures each Friday. If you are up for the challenge, please leave a comment!

A day off

I don't really know what a day off feels like. Since the beginning of the year, my days have been occupied in some way or another- either working or taking care of the fam. It just so happened that today, I had nothing on my schedule, nothing at all. Then, I found out that Gab's teacher was going on strike with the thousands of other civil servants and wouldn't be in class today. My first instinct was to ask L's babysitter to stay at home. Then, I thought, what the heck, we're paying her anyway and then she even offered to come watch both kids. Normally, I would sit my butt in a café or the library and work, but I'm caught up enough on lesson plans and other stuff that I decided today I'd do something for myself.

Traffic didn't look bad this morning, so I first took Etienne to work in the 13th arr. While I was over there, my mind was stirring with possibilities of what to do. I even almost took in a movie but then remembered that the cinema in that area had closed. Then, I thought about going to the super mega Asian grocery store Tang Frères, but couldn't find the place. So, headed to my original destination: the pool.

I had bought a card for 12 entries last summer and since have been so busy that I haven't had time. I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight and even a little less and am now adding some size 8's to the wardrobe which has pretty much never happened (not since 7th grade) but I don't really thank any strict diet or exercise program for that- my body shape has changed after 2 pregnancies and even though I may be a smaller size, there are problem areas that weren't problem areas before, namely my butt and stomach. I told myself that a goal to start off the new year was to get back into shape and to get the family eating healthy again, especially before getting pregnant again. Towards the end of the year, we kind of got off track with our meals. So, today looked like the perfect day to start that goal and go to the pool. At the pool, they asked if I would like to try out the fitness center for free. Heck yes! I used to be a member of the Y in Norman when my apartment was just up the street and then switched to the awesome fitness center at OU. I would have loved to find a health club here, but they are too dang expensive (usually around 150 per month) since it's not quite as in fashion as in the US and I'm not as available as I used to be to go whenever. But, I do love fitness centers. Anyway, this one at our pool is reasonable (55 a month for pool, fitness club, sauna and jacuzzi etc.) but I haven't convinced E to let me join (remember he's French, and very traditional and doesn't see the need to join a fitness club!) When they let me try it out for free today, it couldn't have been more perfect timing. I ran on the treadmill for 30 min., did some weights and then enjoyed the steam bath, sauna, and jacuzzi and RELAXED! When I left, I felt very refreshed and very wanting to join the club! E still needs convincing, though. Oh, and you have to take out a year's membership. Since our plans might just be to have another baby this year, I might not get our money's worth. But, what a great way to convince E to let me join to lose baby fat!

Anyway, after that, just did some mundane grocery shopping, but my trip to the fitness center was enough to make a drab, grey January day a little more cheery!