The non-apartment kid

During the school year, when all we do is work or go to school, come home for dinner and then go to bed, the apartment is fine for the kids because they don't do much in there besides eat and sleep. Even on the weekends during the school year, we can get away with staying at home at least one of the days and just going to the park here and there. But, take a kid who has just been on vacation in a house with a yard and outside practically the whole summer, and you have near disaster when you bring him home to your tiny Parisian apartment.

Okay, it wasn't that bad, but it only took the Monday afternoon that Gab was back at the apartment to realize that if Etienne wanted to have any hope of finishing his thesis, either he would have to leave, or I would. The thing is, is that even if we take Gab to the park 2 hours a day, that's not enough outside activity for him. He is a kid who needs to be seeing people, going places, exploring things and he gets bored with us and our little apartment. He can only play with his Leappad activity center for so long before he gets bored. And the other thing is, is that it's a small hell for me to try to get anything done. Even trying to do laundry or vaccuuming or filling out paperwork is a challenge when Gab is there because he just can't find an activity in the apartment, even for 5 minutes. We point him in certain directions, sit down with him to show him how to do something in hopes to leave him alone but as soon as you get up, he gets up too. The conclusion is that in an ideal world, we would spend the whole day with him doing activities and he would be content. But, we don't live in an ideal world and there are certain times in the day when we have to do other things.

So, Tuesday morning, we headed to my MIL's, who lives an hour from Paris in the country. It was either me or Etienne. And, since I've already done the apartment with 2 kids alone thing for 8 days this summer, it made more sense for me to go so that the kids could get some fresh air. I start my new job Friday and Saturday with orientation, so the MIL is going to keep Gab on Friday and I am going to pick him up on Saturday and Etienne will just watch Louise, who is still at the age where she is no trouble at all.

We've talked in the abstract about messing up our children because of our lifestyle in a big city, small apartment. I actually don't know how much of it has to do with having a yard or not. True, having a bigger space and having a place for the kids to play might solve a lot of the problems we have, but I don't know in the end if that's really the ultimate solution. We're not suburb people. We'd rather live in another city than move to a Parisian suburb. But, we're not there yet and we don't have to be there yet. But, at times we wonder what we are doing in Paris when we could buy a house double the size in another city. On the other hand, if we left Paris, we could never come back, I don't think, with the prices. All of our friends are in Paris, but with kids, we've found that our lives are becoming more and more centered on our family and we see our friends less often. I am not ready to even think about leaving Paris, but it's true that it has crossed our mind at times to ask ourselves questions about if we are doing the right thing.

For now, we are going to make it work. This year, my goal is to really try and get Gab used to our apartment, find new activities for him that I'll be able to use for Louise at this age, and to really try and listen to him and his personality. Part of our problem is our own impatience. Our kids are our life but we also have a life and sometimes we just expect Gab to want to play by himself so that we can do our own thing. But, as a parent, that's what naptime is for and we need to learn to use our time accordingly so that everyone is happy. I won't have the pressure of the PhD exams this year and even though my new job will bring some pressure, I am looking forward to spending the weekends with my kids and having more time for them because for the past 3 years, even though physically I've been there for them, mentally I haven't because of these teaching exams.

I'll be back in Paris on Friday for meetings and school starts for all of us Monday!