C'est ma vie

What Would Jesus Buy?

Just watched the movie What Would Jesus Buy and it hit me, yet again, with the challenge that I know I face at least once a month- shopping. And, it also reminded me of the burden Etienne and I face when we go back to the US of trying not to spend. It's like we literally step off the plane and there's this huge magnetic force drawing us into consumerism. We come back bloated with "stuff", as if it's a race to buy more. I remember those last hours before the flight, making a last minute run to Target as if I just won the Toys R Us 10 min. run through and I'm running with the cart pulling things off of shelves, things we don't even need.

In France, like every other Western country, consumerism has inevitably made an appearance. However, I would say that consumerism in France plays more of a supporting role rather than the lead. If you don't feel the need to consume or to fall subject to a cookie-cutter type of lifestyle, it's perfectly acceptable to society. There isn't this notion of strip malls with the typical stores like Old Navy, Target, Barnes and Noble, Starbucks etc..,etc... Or, if there are, it certainly isn't one of the main activities of the French people. On the weekends, you'll find most out tending to their gardens, taking walks with families, or spending time at home; they don't just think to jump in the car and run to a store unless they really need something.

This is why we have such a difficult time when we come to the US, one of the main activities is consuming, buying, spending. Why are we so attracted to Target, to Starbucks, to Old Navy? Because everyone does it. There's a gravitating movement towards this consumerist culture that is hard not to be sucked into.

Etienne has a cousin who we call American. They just built a brand new house. Their daughter has the perfect princess bedroom with all of her dolls, jewelry, dress up stuff in perfect order. When we were over there one night, they didn't have a dessert, so they jumped in the car to the nearest bakery. The drinks in their fridge were in little cans and bottles and not one thing in their house was dated pre-Ikea. This type of lifestyle is accepted in France, but it's not part of the mainstream society, it's not something that one strives for (at least not yet, anyway). But, I can understand why one strives for it. It's comforting to be in a clean, new house, to have the luxury of saying 'Oh, this is ugly, I'll just throw it out and get a new one' And, every time I'm in a house like E's cousin, I want to come home and make my own place look more modern and clean. Consumerism has a strong pull.

We have tried to instill in our children that toys are way less important than doing something for someone else or reading or using their imaginations to come up with an activity. There's no TV in our house because I don't want them watching all the toy commercials and being sucked in. And, honestly, all the cartoons these days are Crap with a capital C. What happened to Charlie Brown, the Smurfs and Woody the Woodpecker? We already have a one present rule at Christmas and on birthdays- they get one present from us, that's it. And, something we started with Gab last year was making gifts for people. In fact, I, myself, am probably going to stick to the handmade route for the majority of gifts. I know a lot of people don't appreciate that, but I don't appreciate fighting the crowds and supporting this new religion of shopping by going to megastores.

This isn't to say that we won't spend and that we don't spend and that I hate all shopping and shoppers. I would just like this world to think about things a little more rather than mindlessly standing in line with the credit card in hand. Try to find an alternative. Try to understand why you are standing in line. Try to find a smaller, independent store. A couple years ago, E and I happened upon a gem of a used bookstore in the artsy part of Houston and we are definitely going back. I got a Sandra Boynton book for Gab for under a dollar and the money went to support an individual's business rather than a huge corporation. Look for stuff on ebay, in garage sales. If you like shopping, you can still shop, but change your tactics. I've redirected my shopping to street sales and it has curbed my need for the kids to look cute (of course, this doesn't justify the mary jane crocs I just ordered for Louise along with some summer sandals that I probably could have gotten off of ebay, but hey, like I said, consumerism is a hungry lion that I literally feel wants to eat at you every single waking moment).

Anyway, that's my speech. I think Reverend Billy has something to say and he's preaching to the converted here, but hopefully, someone who really needs to listen will open their ears. And hopefully we'll be able to get through our trip to the US this summer as more aware consumers.

The Great Renovation Project?

You've heard us say it. Our families and friends have heard us say it. Yes, it's indeed true, we not only plan on staying in our 1000 sq. foot apt. (91 m2) but we also plan on eventually raising three kids in said space.

To the French, and especially to Parisians, the square footage/family member ratio doesn't seem odd. Just look at how many Ikeas are found around Paris (6) and you'll understand that there is a great need for solutions to small space living. In fact, we know of several families who live, with 3 and even 4 children, in a lot smaller spaces than our apartment. To some Americans, it may seem kind of far-fetched to try and stretch the space of an apartment the size of ours to match the needs of a normal family (except for New York or other big cities perhaps) but to each his own. Ecologically speaking, we should all be living on top of each other anyway. Do we really need 5 rooms to one person?

Many have suggested we move to a smaller big city in France, one in which we could afford more space and even buy a townhouse or small house. But, the more we think about it the more we realize just can't pick up an move- for now, our lives are in Paris.

So, that brings us to our apartment. Our lovely apartment. We were very fortunate to come across our apartment before Louise was born. My old job gave me the right to have a sort of rent-controlled apartment in a neighborhood in which we could never afford to live. Come to think of it, we can never buy in Paris again, the prices have gone up by so much. Our only criteria for an apartment was to have 3 bedrooms. Well, our apartment has 2 bedrooms. Actually, it officially has 3 but the woman who lived there before took out a wall in one of the bedrooms to make the living room bigger. So, instead of an extra bedroom we have a dining room.

Our apartment has a lot of options, if we want to spend money. We've talked a lot about how we are going to reorganize when the need comes and of course there's always the dilemma of do you do work in an apartment you rent?

Normally, we would never throw money away like that. However, after talking to so many people in our building who have been there, raised kids there and stayed after 35 years, more and more we are realizing that our destiny is being written for us too: if we want to stay in Paris, we will be in our apartment for the long-haul.We have a long-term goal to  buy a country home, a place where we can  go on the weekends and on holiday but we will never buy in Paris and for now, we aren't interested in buying our principal place of residence in another city.

So, recently we've started talking again about what we could do to create another bedroom in our apartment that wouldn't eliminate too much space.And, we have a project in mind (one that I'm so anxious to start!): our kitchen is the size of a bedroom, a fairly good size for Paris, and it is on the same side as the bedrooms in the apartment. Why not make an open kitchen in the dining room part of the apartment and combine the dining room/kitchen/living room and have one big, open room? The, our current kitchen would become a bedroom.

We looked at what we could do with this idea, of course it would demand a certain amount of money, but there is a possibility of doing this without too much work. There's a way to bring a water pipe through the wall to hook up the sink, etc.. because the bathroom is just behind the dining room. There are also many things we can do ourselves and E's cousin specializes in kitchens so he could help us set the whole thing up for a fourth of the price it would cost for a professional to do it.

Anyway, right now it's just an idea, but we would like to materialize this idea in the near future. Will let you know when we take the first step!

Being connected

What a long and fulfilling day. I haven't had a day with this much activity for awhile. Where to begin?

We've been spoiled with Louise this week because she wakes up between 8 and 8:30, which feels like sleeping in for me (compared to the 6 or 6:30 we usually get up with Gab). And, since I'm so used to getting up much earlier, a couple mornings I've gotten up before Louise to get a nice, slow start to the morning rather than be shaken from dreams, crawling out of bed half asleep and forced into the day before even waking up. How to not have me be in a bad mood the rest of the day (or at least for a couple hours in the morning), let me wake up at a decent pace.

Louise and I went to the balcony to work on the plants and then on a whim I decided to randomly plant some parsnips, radishes, arugula, and baby carrots from seeds I had gotten ages ago. Don't know if they'll take, but I have this gardening for the balcony book and they are supposed to work. Anyway, about halfway through the project my soil ran out. Put L down for a morning nap and quickly went to a hardware store up the street for more soil. I was knee deep in dirt when a friend of E's arrived for lunch (and for E to look at his Mac). It was a quick run to pick up some greek gyros from the little restaurant down below before L and I headed out to meet an old high-school classmate.

What beautiful weather we had sitting out at the café in the Tuileries. L was able to run wild rather than be cooped up in a café, but a little too wild because she has nothing holding her back, not even her own mother, when it comes to where she goes. A couple times I took my eyes off of her for 5 seconds and she was out of my sight! Luckily, she was also a crowd pleaser and charmed her way into many a people's tables, so I ended up having lots of babysitters to look after her!

And, a lovely afternoon it was getting reacquainted with a high-school pal. Etienne is always telling me how superficial blogging and Facebook are but I really feel quite the opposite. This way of connecting with people over the internet has really helped me feel like the world is less superficial. Reconnecting with a past you might otherwise lose in the rush to move forward in life. Seeing all of these different blasts from the past on Facebook makes me feel like we are still in this little world of high-school, only more grown up, but a familiar world all the same. And, as for my new friends made through blogging, it's a way to connect to people that is less superficial than meeting people at some random event like the weekly dog grooming class or yoga. I am grateful to be able to have tools to keep in touch, to remain timeless in a time ever so changing.

After a wonderful 3 hours in the sun and promises to keep in touch, L and I headed home but not without stopping in the American bookstore to window shop. Then, I grabbed the first bus in line without paying attention that it wasn't going to its final destination which happens to be the front door of our apartment building but was only going to about 8 stops ahead. When it reached its final destination and we were all forced to get off, I decided to try and walk a bit to find a metro or see if we could walk home (it's actually quite far from where the bus dropped us).

I let Louise get out of the stroller a bit to walk and I heard some kids playing in an open courtyard as we passed by an apartment building. I casually looked and recognized one of my students and then another! They were playing soccer with some other kids. I said hello to them and they were instantly embarrassed and didn't know what to do. In France, unlike my experience in Bartlesville where you run into your teachers all the time, there is this huge separation of teachers and students and cultural norms dictate that I probably shouldn't have said hello to them. But, I'm still American and I find it normal to greet those you have been with in class 4 hours a week since September. At first, they ignored me and didn't know what to do, so I continued with Louise. Then, all of the sudden I hear behind me "Hello Mrs. Foos" I turned and greeted them, introduced them to Louise. They asked me if she was born in France or in the US and I explained to them that she was born in France but that I speak English to her because I'm American. I told them to have a good rest of their vacation and I'll see them Monday.

Louise wanted to go play ball with them, but thank goodness we didn't because as I was talking to my students, I could feel the most appalling movements in the direction of Louise's diaper. She's been teething and not handling it too well. As soon as we left, I noticed a not so nice stain coming from L's diaper onto her jeans. That would have made for the laugh of the century in my 6th grade class: Mrs. Foos's baby pooped all over herself, it was so nasty! I quickly put L in her stroller and found another bus to get us home.

The diaper was worse than I could ever have imagined- all down the leg, all up the back. We needed double diaper duty- E put her in the sink while I cleaned up the changing table. Then, we put her in the bath. But, the spectacle continued in the bath. I instantly took her out and put her on the potty, where she continued her business, drained the bath water, bleached the bath tub and then put her back in there to shower her down. Poor thing, her little teeth are really causing her system to go into a funk. She was so cranky that I put her to bed and she instantly feel asleep.

Made boeuf bourgignon for dinner and while it was cooking cleaned up the balcony after the massive planting efforts this morning. I usually do this planting/cleaning up of the balcony once a year in the spring so that we can enjoy it in the summer. I would love, love, love a tree for our balcony or a very tall plant or flower bush but they are very expensive and I'm afraid that I'll get the wrong thing and then kill it. One of these days (one of these days my husband or MIL or anyone will have a sensible idea of what I'd like as a bday gift and get it!) Anyway, cleaned up the balcony, watered the plants, ate dinner and now, I'm ready to crash.

This is a random post, but it was kind of a random day. I'm done with my paper, now I need to proof it and send it off.

Cross your fingers that spring lasts this time, I have a feeling that I'll need some of that spring sunshine to lift up my spirits when the politics start again on Monday.

Death by chocolate mascarpone brownies

Death by chocolate mascarpone brownies, originally uploaded by afoos.

Random week

This week has been full of nice little surprises that add just enough to spruce up life a little. The surprises are nothing more than mundane, daily acts of life, but to me, they've been welcome.

It's been a treat having just Louise at home, being able to spend some one on one time with her. We miss Gab dearly (and I think he's a little bored with E's mom because he's figured out how to do redial on her phone and calls us like every 5 minutes) but it sure makes a difference just having one around. Granted, Louise has spent half that time at the daycare while I work on this paper that is due on Monday, but it has been nice to just take care of her in the evenings, to make her feel special. Now, Etienne and I understand why some people only want one child- it's so much easier!

This leads me to the next surprise- the cleanliness of the apartment. I've managed to organize a couple of cabinets as well as clean in depth most of the apartment AND have the energy to pick up after myself and not procrastinate doing things as I usually would because I'm just too darn tired. All of this on top of completing a 20 page paper. I'm telling you, it's the one child thing again. I've devised a theory that each child sucks that much more energy out of you and when one leaves on vacation for a week at his mamie's, that energy is restored. But, I would like that energy to be taken away again because I miss Gab!

Tonight, Louise and I decided to jump in the car and get the necessities to start our herb garden for the summer. She loves flowers and really enjoyed helping me pot the plants. I still would like a few more flowers for the balcony for decoration, but we got basil, parsley, cilantro and mint- the basics of what I use to cook and that will get us started. I love impromptu activities like that, especially on a beautiful evening when the sky is composed of all sorts of colors and we could enjoy this watercolor palette while repotting the flowers (even though it's a little cold for May 1st!)

We had some friends call to see if they could crash at our place tonight. I was planning a boeuf bourgignon and had gotten fresh strawberries at the market to go with the death by chocolate mascarpone brownies I had made, but they called at the last minute to cancel, so E and I got to enjoy the brownies by ourselves!

Tomorrow I'm meeting up with someone I knew from high-school for a drink in a café. She now lives in London and we hooked up on Facebook. Gotta love Facebook for that. Since I've been working hard on this paper and pretty much have it finished, besides the proofing, which will take a day, I am giving myself a break and Louise and I are hitting town tomorrow. It's so fun to meet up with friends from your past!

Pics to come...there are some new, random ones on Flickr if you are interested.

How to foutre le bordel in less than an hour

I am not going to translate the title of this post. For those who are French or who understand the French language, a million apologies for the vulgarity of my title, but it still sounds foreign to me, so I use it with fewer compunctions.

It all started with the organization of the bachelorette party for E's cousin, who will be married in June. As we all know, I'm a little critical of anything cheesy, labels like 'bachelorette party' not being excluded from that, but I've gone along with many a bachelorette shindigs in my life, shutting my trap the whole way. To each his own and I'm there to support, not to judge. My limits were almost reached when at one of these gatherings the married women of the group had to give the future bride advice on the 'wedding night' or at the one when a friend dressed as a princess 'future bride'. But, again, let people live their lives, you know? If they are having fun, that's all that counts.

As I said in a previous post, I'm kind of a follower. You tell me where to be, and I'll be there. This has resulted in many events that I absolutely do not want to partake in, but whatever, go with the flow, right? However, I recently discovered limits to my shut up and follow policy.

The person who is organizing the said bachelorette party is kind of a control freak. She finally decided that E's cousin would really like a karaoke night. Fine, I'm game. I don't necessarily like karaoke but I remember all of those cute indie bars in Norman offering karaoke nights, so I'm thinking a small, intimate bar in Paris where we can drink, laugh, talk. A bachelorette party that was tolerable. Then, she sent the website of the place we are going.

Let's just say Disneyworld meets Strip club meets McDonalds meets (fill in the blank cheesy fancy food) meets cruise ship. It was this big tourist trap, like the first address you are going to find in Tourism for Americans in Paris for an Authentic French Experience (or how to get ripped off and get a bad impression of the French). On the menu was foie gras, but I'm sure it comes from a can. Already, the concept of bachelorette party is cheesy, do we need to add anymore cheese to that?

Anyway, the worst was that this place was going to cost 75 dollars a person plus, of course the gift, plus paying for E's cousin's share. Not only are we on a budget but I selfishly don't want to put that much money into something just for my presence (because I have a difficult time believing that in a noise-filled club with half naked women and men servers we would be able to have a nice evening of girl gossip). So, I did what any normal civilized person would do, I came up with an excuse.

Then, I talked to E's cousin's SIL and she was upset that I wasn't coming to keep her company because she totally did not want to go either. Then, I was kind of getting the impression that the control freak just chose this place out of her own will without really consulting the crowd, or that the crowd was afraid to contradict her. E suggested I call his cousin today, explain to her the situation, ask her what I should do. She was aware of the evening's activities, just not the actual location and she knows that her friend is very difficult to get along with. She told me to write an e-mail to her friend right away, telling her that the price is too much to pay, maybe suggesting other places. So, I did and let me tell you, I've opened a whole can of worms and now there is a bitch fight going on between several people....

Personally, if it were my bachelorette party, we'd be sitting in my friend's café knitting the whole evening after having a potluck dinner with the girls. But, I accept that there are other versions of the bachelorette party out there. However, there is a limit and 75 dollars for an evening of naked waiters reaches that limit. And now, I've foutued the bordel (wreaked havoc, created a drama, putting it nicely) without even wanting to. Totally not my type and now I know why I've always kept my mouth shut because every time it opens, it creates drama.

A week in Brittany

A week in Brittany, originally uploaded by afoos.

Brittany pics are uploaded! If you have the patience and time to view all 75 of them, check out my photoset on Flickr (just click on the pic above to get there).

Pitstop Picnic

Pitstop Picnic, originally uploaded by afoos.

Since I'm an insomniac tonight (after sleeping 4 straight hours in the car, I'm going to regret this tomorrow when the kids wake up right as I'm drifting off to sleep), thought I'd start with a warm up pic to our trip: our first stop, picnic by a lake on the way there.

A few words about picnicing. We are a picnic family not only because it's cheaper let alone A LOT nicer to sit by a lake out in the nature rather than in a stuffy restaurant but also because I don't know if you know what it's like to try and wrestle with two kids under the age of 4 in a restaurant, but it's not fun. In fact, anytime someone even suggests restaurant with the kids, E and I always give each other a look of "they don't know what they are getting into" and "how can we politely decline?" I actually do like a restaurant once in awhile, contrary to E who hates going out to eat and is just happy with a tuna sandwich at home, or by a lake, but I know we'll get back to being able to join out of town guests at restaurant endeavors once the kids get older.

A couple years ago, we took my brother and sister to Galveston and packed a picnic lunch and their reaction was "gross". Then, when we were in Italy and I said we had a picnic lunch when we were out and about, double the reaction, "gross". Since I've lived 7 years now in France and in my new cultural surroundings, even in the most bourgeoise of families, the traditional picnic is nothing but the most common of happenings (remember, we spent a week in a villa in February with Etienne's family and didn't go out to eat once- eating out is a once a year thing), I am trying to remember in my US culture if picnics were seen as weird and I honestly can't remember. Do people picnic in the US or is it only reserved for certain social classes or subcultures? Whatever the case, wherever we go, we will BOOP (bring our own picnic), especially now that my mom got us this super cool, snazzy picnic basket/ice chest that comes with its own cutting board and salt and pepper shakers. I'm telling you, our picnics are not your traditional bologne and cheese or p,b and j sandwiches.

Come along with us the next time!

More Brittany pics to come...

A Week by the Sea

Beaches of Brittany, originally uploaded by afoos.

Words can't describe the wonderful week we spent, as a family, without internet, without worries, without the daily grind we realize we've fallen into to without even knowing it, in a little white house by the sea on the coast of Brittany.

The weather in the pic tells all- for the most part, we were able to taste the first sunbeams of spring, even though we could still feel winter's hand trying to grasp the moments when the sun would sink behind the clouds. We only had one bad weather day, the rest were full of sun which allowed us to take many walks, taste the first pre-summer burgers and sausages on the grill, and of course, explore the beach, where the kids could have stayed for hours.

Many more pics to come and my apologies for not being 'connected' this week, I know some of you are waiting for a response to an email or on facebook, but actually, I'm not too sorry, it was a wonderful taste of freedom, for a week.

We're off....

I think part of the reason my past couple of posts have been more venting and maybe dramatizing things that didn't need to be dramatized is because we were so near the school vacation period. Students and teachers both are on edge the last couple days before school holiday, and I'm not excluded from that. With all the incertitude about my past evaluation, I've been a little tense as has Etienne and we both need a little break, even if I'll be working on these papers I have to turn in. But, at least I'll be working in the fresh sea air and escape the Paris pollution a little. Sometimes, I paint a bad pic of Etienne and I regret that. He is kind of from the Middle Ages but at the same time will do things I know a lot of men won't do to help out. And, now he knows that he needs to shut his trap when it comes to my housekeeping skills! I wanted to respond about the 3rd child comments but that will have to wait. We have our own theories about that and that will be for another post.

So, we're off! No internet access for a week so I'll post when we get back. Happy week!